Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
