I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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