Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
