I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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