wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
