I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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