I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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