Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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