I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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