Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize