Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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