Do vagina's smell?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
