I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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