yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
