I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize