You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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