He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
