He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Randomize
