"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize