I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
