so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
