you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
