is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
