I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
