If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
