Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
