all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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