I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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