you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
