Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
God I need to hump something, right now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
