just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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