No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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