So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
