Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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