Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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