it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
