I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
