Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
bring money and cleavage
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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