dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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