You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
