you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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