if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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