i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
