I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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