do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
