I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
