is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
