This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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