I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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