Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
