I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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