I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
