and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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