I think I died a long time ago.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
