Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize