that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
