i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
