the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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