listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I need to calm my uterus...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
