He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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