I think I am morally bankrupt
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
