Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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