I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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