I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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