Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
